emotional injury

If you can heal personally, then your family can heal. If your family can heal then maybe there is hope for your community.

I don’t talk about this much, but I was hurt for a long time. Not just physically, although I did have a chronic knee injury that turned out to be a torn ACL. But that’s besides the point, I was emotionally hurt. Not just hurt but damaged.  I was angry/livid at my parents. It might just sound like an angry teenage rant, but I was angry that my parents who were formidable in my faith growing up, who taught me right from wrong, who instilled so many Christian values in my life, had divorced. My parents divorced when I was an adult. I felt abandoned and angry. I didn’t know what to do with that hurt so it evolved into its next evolution, anger.  I was hurt and angry for many years. I believe it affected many parts of my relationships; for sure with my wife, with my extended family and even at times strangers on the street (scary). I was so angry but I knew I had to do something with it. So I did. I faced it head on and moved right next to the source. I moved to my hometown, to deal with my home problems.  I was forced to stare it down every day, wrestle with the triggers that caused me so much grief. I explored personal trauma through professional counseling. I found solace in discussing and processing this internal rage that kept coming up. Until, one day, after countless renditions of rehearsed reasons to be angry, I learned I just had to give it up. I had to choose to forgive and move forward. I knew the hurt that I felt was to be only fully understood by one being and that was God. But furthermore, I was truly blessed with a life partner who also understood and allowed me to be navigate and explore these feelings. Because of this journey I have become a more complete person. I have become more complete not just spiritually but emotionally. 
When you choose to follow Jesus, you can also choose to explore your past emotions with Him. That emotional journey with Jesus can be sacred and pivotal in your spiritual formation. If you can slide down in the valley and experience those emotions you’ll find that Jesus is there too. Many of us aren't willing to go there, and that’s okay, Jesus loves you anyways, but you aren’t allowing God to do his best work emotionally, if you aren’t willing to sift through those emotions; those intense emotions from hurt and past pains. You could be wasting many years, being angry or hung up on nothing. I remember telling my teenagers when I youth pastored. You know how old men become grumpy old men? They start out as grumpy teenagers, who eventually became grumpy young adults, who became grumpy adults. Substitute the grumpy for angry and you might end up being angry for most of your life. And that’s not cool. 

We get caught up in wanting so much for others that we forget that we’re limited because we don’t want for us. If we can pause and find some emotional insight we can unlock emotions that can fuel us into a healthier version of ourselves and that can bring healing not only to us, but our intimate relationships, our family and eventually our communities.